29 foods that boost your happy hormones

Why is nutrition the most important tool which will make you love life and have a happy life?

A healthy diet helps us fight & prevent many diseases such as diabetes. heart disease, stroke, and cancer. It provides all the nutrients your body needs to maintain its bodily functions. This includes carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins, minerals, and water. 

To ensure that you provide your body with all the nutrients and phytonutrients it needs, plus we are here showing you which foods will make you happy and help you having more balance. Click here to visit our shop and order our cookbook.

 Enjoy a diverse range of foods and eat a varied diet. Choose mainly plant-based foods for this purpose. 

  • Eat or cook with at least three handfuls of vegetables and two handfuls of fruits daily. They contain many nutrients, fibre, and phytochemicals that fill you up and reduce the risk of conditions such as heart disease.
  • Choose wholemeal products. When you compare wheat flour, which is used to make bread, pasta, pizza, etc with wholemeal flour the latter has almost twice as much iron and twice as much fibre, for half the calories. Fibre, which is found in wholemeal products, reduces the risk of some diseases, such as colon cancer, cardiovascular diseases, and type 2 diabetes.
  • Use health-promoting fats and avoid “invisible” fats found in processed foods such as pastries and fast food. Healthy fats contain essential fatty acids and vitamin E. Focus on consuming less saturated fatty acids, commonly found in animal foods, and stick to unsaturated fatty acids found in vegetable oils and nuts. These also reduce the risk of cardiovascular diseases.
  • Cut back on sugar and salt. Foods and drinks sweetened with sugar usually contain no vital nutrients and a lot of energy. They are not filling and increase the risk of tooth decay, obesity and type 2 diabetes. If you consume a lot of salt. the risk of high blood pressure and cardiovascular diseases increases.
  • It is best to drink water/unsweetened teas. The body needs fluids to function, but if you drink beverages that have been sweetened with sugar or are alcoholic, you are not getting any nutrients and can end up more dehydrated.
  • Prepare food carefully. Food should be cooked with as little water and fat as possible and only for as long as necessary. Whether frying, grilling or baking you want to avoid burning it. Not only does it not taste great, but burnt food contains harmful, carcinogenic substances. Try as much as possible to avoid deep-frying too
  • Eat mindfully and enjoy what you eat. Enjoyment can be promoted by eating slowly, not only can this relax you but it can also help you achieve your desired body weight because the feeling of satiety only occurs 15 to 20 minutes after the first bite. 
 

You can supplement your food choices
with animal foods:

  • Milk and dairy products – daily
  • Fish – once or twice a week.
  • Meat – 300 g-600 g per week. 
  1. Try to include vegetables, fresh herbs, and/or fruits in every meal. These are great as a quick snack or easy meal ingredient because they can be eaten raw.
  2. Always have healthy snacks such as nuts and dried fruits at hand as they take up little space and are very nutritious. Many bars on the market are made of nuts and dried fruit, just be sure to check the sugar content first. A good place to find these is in an organic food shop.
  3. Always have a bottle of water with you and drink regularly. You can add lemon or other fruits to help improve its taste if you don’t like plain water.
  4. Choose vegetable oils instead of animal fats.

  5. Shop for whole-grain products such as wholewheat bread, pasta, rice, and flour. You should also try other products such as millet, polenta, buckwheat, quinoa, sweet potatoes, lentils, or chickpeas. 
  6. Accustom your palate to less salty foods and use iodized salt when possible.

  7. Opt for a healthy menu in restaurants. For example, instead of fried food, choose grilled or oven-cooked and re-think your choices to enhance your diet.
  8. Don’t forget to make time for breakfast. After fasting during the night, the body needs nutrients to kick-start it in the best way for the day ahead.

  9.  If you spend a lot of time in the office, you can get your groceries delivered to your home from certain supermarkets.
  10.  It is a good idea to batch cook to save time during the week.
  11.  Consciously take time to eat and see it as a way of relaxing.

As the above shows, it pays off to switch to a wholesome, healthy diet. This can protect you from diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, stroke, and cancer, providing you with all the essential nutrients and phytochemicals.

A healthy diet is characterised by:

  • Lots of vegetables and fruit
  • Whole grains

  • Pseudo cereals

  • Potatoes

  • Legumes

  • Nuts and
    Seeds
    

  • Vegetable Oils

  • Possibly daily milk and dairy products

  • Possibly fish once or twice a week

  • Possibly meat(300 to 6000 grams per week)

  • Possibly eggs from time to time


Pay attention to the origin of animal products and choose organic products when possible. This is important both for the sake of the animals and the environment. 

And here are a few foods that you should definitely have in your kitchen as they will boost your happiness hormones.


1. Ginger

Antioxidants, such as those found in vitamin C, are particularly important for the brain, as it is very susceptible to oxidative damage. Ginger has anti-inflammatory properties, making it a popular remedy for treating inflammation associated with arthritis.

” Ginger improves memory and alertness, acts as a natural antidepressant and calms anxiety.

This anti-inflammatory property is also important for brain health and function, as many brain disorders are associated with chronic brain inflammation: (6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Anxiety
  • Alzheimer’s
  • Dementia
  • Depression
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

2. Lemon

As soon as positively charged ions from food arrive in the digestive tract, they react with the negatively charged enzymes present there. However, lemons are negatively charged, meaning they provide energy to the body once they pass through the digestive system. This energy has such a revitalizing effect that the mood automatically rises after enjoying lemons.

Lemon water is therefore particularly recommended for people with a tendency to depression and anxiety.

3. Bananas

Everyone knows bananas are full of potassium, but what you may not know is that they also contain tryptophan, a brain chemical that helps to regulate mood, according to Ara DerMarderosian, University of the Sciences. Bananas are also a good source of B vitamin folate, and having low levels of the vitamin has been linked to depression.

4. Berries

Certain flavors in berries have a chemical similarity to valproic acid, which is a prescription mood-stabilizing drug, according to research conducted by Torrey Pines Institute for Molecular Studies. The
flavonoid anthocyanidin found in berries also reduces inflammation, which has been associated with increased rates of depression. For recipes starring berries, try 18 Totally Creative Strawberry Desserts.

5. Quinoa

It’s with good reason quinoa is having a moment right now. A flavanoid found in quinoa, quercetin, has been shown to have anti-depressant effects, according to a 2010 study in the Journal of Neuropharmacology.

6. Dark Chocolate

Choc-o-holics, rejoice! Dark chocolate is a good source of antioxidants, but it’s also been found to reduce the stress hormone cortisol, according to a study in the Journal of Proteome Research. Dark chocolate is rich in antioxidants which means that it boosts mood naturally and the presence of N-acylethanolamine chemicals stimulates the brain to release endorphins.

7. Turmeric

It’s time to turn up the heat. The yellow spice, most known for its use in East Asian cuisine, contains curcumin, which enhances mood and fights depression, according to ethnobotanist Chris Kilham.

8. Apples

An apple a day really does keep the doctor away. Eating fruits and vegetables, like apples, produces a calming effect, creates more energy, and increases overall happiness, according to the British Journal of Health Psychology.

9. Green Tea

A Japanese study found that psychological stress was lower in individuals who drank five or more cups of green tea per day. (But I mean, that’s a lot of green tea).

10. Avocado

Avocados are packed with vitamin B3, a serotonin-boosting vitamin and they also contain omega-3 fatty acids which have been shown to support brain health and mood regulation.

11. Cherry tomatoes

Tomatoes contain the phytonutrient lycopene in their skins and due to the increased amount of surface area on cherry tomatoes (as opposed to larger varieties), these provide a more concentrated amount of lycopene which prevents the build-up of pro-inflammatory compounds that researchers have linked to depression.

12. Nuts and seeds

All nuts and seeds contain tryptophan, a precursor for serotonin and they also deliver antioxidants, which has been shown to lower the risk of depression.

13. Fruits

Pineapple, bananas, kiwi and plums all contain high amounts of serotonin, giving us a natural mood boost.

14. Salmon

Mood boosters include fish that are high in omega-3 fatty acids. So herring, tuna or salmon. Because the body cannot produce essential fatty acids itself, they must be supplied through food. Studies have found that omega-3 fatty acids can alleviate the symptoms of depression because they affect the production of the feel-good hormones serotonin and dopamine. Salmon is rich in tryptophan and omega-3 fatty acids, EPA and DHA as well as vitamin B12 and B6, so it helps the body produce serotonin, giving us a mood boost and reduce inflammation, protecting the nerves in our brain.

15. Spinach

Spinach contains magnesium, which helps boost energy and phenylethylamine, which can reduce monoamine oxidase break down in the same way that old-fashioned pre-Prozac anti-depressants did.

16. And of course … Water

Water is important to keep our body and mind hydrated, aiding their functionality, so it is advisable to consume 2 litres of water per day, either directly or through the food we eat and drink. All of the above could be great options for your lunch break (perhaps with the exception of salmon, you might not be very popular in the office that day!) So, what small changes could you make to your diet this week to help you to boost those Happy Hormones?

17. Lentils

Lentils contain tyrosine, an essential amino acid that is required for the formation of many hormones and messenger substances in our body and has an extremely positive effect on our well-being! lentals Thanks to the high fiber content, lentils will promote a functioning, happy digestive system that leaves you feeling satisfied—and ahem, regular, according to Poon. “A diet that is rich in fiber can help you
maintain bowel health, lower cholesterol, control blood sugar, lose weight, and prevent disease.

18. Dates

There is also a lot of tryptophan in dates, which also contain numerous minerals, vitamins and fiber!

19. Figs

Similar to dates, figs are also ideal mood enhancers. Tryptophan, vitamins, minerals and fiber give the body energy and a good dose of happiness!

20. Potatoes

Eating potatoes can also have a positive effect on serotonin levels and also increase our resistance to stress!

21. Chili

With its spiciness, chili helps the body to release endorphins, making us feel happier and more exhilarated at the same time!

22. Saffron

In addition to its color, saffron was valued above all for its medicinal properties. Anti-inflammatory, analgesic, antioxidant and mood-enhancing – these attributes promised relief or healing for many ailments and diseases.

23. Aubergine

Relieves depression. Erotonin is a chemical that causes imbalance in moods, leading to depression. But eggplant contains a compound called scopoletin that regulates serotonin levels in the brain, reducing the feeling of anxiety and other symptoms of depression. It also contains vitamin B often called “antistress” vitamins group that improves the body’s ability to withstand stress. Its thiamin content also gives your mood a boost and fights against depression and anxiety.

24. Chickpeas

A recent research conducted by Israeli scientists, leads to the conclusion that the chickpea was cultivation because of it’s special effect on mood. In a way, chickpeas are the ancestors of Prozac. It is a known fact that chickpeas, as well as other legumes, are rich in Tryptophan, an amino acid which is a precursor of serotonin. The latter is a neurotransmitter strongly connected to well being and mood. Anxiety and depression, for instance, are known to correlate with serotonin deficiency.

Most modern anti-depressant medicine, works by increasing the amount of serotonin in the brain, and that includes the highly popular SSRI drugs (Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Drugs such as Prozac, Seroxat, Cipralex etc.). So yes, a tryptophan rich diet may improve mood (up to some point) – and the scientist claim that this is why chickpeas became so popular in the ancient world.

Chickpeas and tahini, the major ingredients of hummus, contain essential amino acids which has a very similar effect to that of anti- depressants. Don’t be surprised if one day in the near future your doctor will prescribe you some hummus.

25. Pomegranate

Pomegranate is packed with powerful antioxidants that are essential for keeping our bodies healthy. One of the antioxidants it contains is called phytochemical compounds. This particular compound positively affects the estrogen receptors and the serotonin receptors in the brain. The phytochemicals actually stimulate the activity of these two receptors, which in turn leads to positive feelings toward life and self, thereby reducing the feelings of hopelessness or depression. What better way to control depression than with a natural substance? The natural tannins and antioxidants in pomegranates are natural detoxifiers too, which can help the body feel better overall and that alone can help boost
mood and alleviate depression.

26. Oatmeal

Oatmeal naturally changes your brain chemistry by creating your body’s feel-good chemical, serotonin, the mood hormone we just mentioned. “It will kick serotonin into high gear and help combat pain, decrease appetite, and produce calm or sleep,”

27. Chia seed

Tryptophan is an essential amino acid that helps boost your mood and promote restful sleep. The problem is that it isn’t naturally produced by our bodies; you need to absorb it from whole food sources. A great source is chia seeds. Chia seeds also get brownie points for being high in fiber, meaning
that even if you consume them in something sweet—like chia pudding—they will be slowly absorbed into the bloodstream, helping to prevent blood sugar crashes. Plus, the fiber keeps you full longer.

28. Rosemary

Rosemary improves brain performance and is good for memory and concentration. This stimulating function also improves our mood and makes us more awake. Recent studies* even indicate that rosemary can reduce anxiety and symptoms of depression.

29. Tomatoes

The riper a tomato is, the more lycopene it contains – an active ingredient that is said to counteract prostate cancer. In addition, tomatoes promote the production of the hormone serotonin – a neurotransmitter that is essential for our good mood. Too little serotonin triggers depression in our
brain.

I put a wonderful cookbook together with healthy meals which I cooked and tried. You will also find a lot of tips and healthy delicious recipes which you will enjoy cooking and eating. You will feel after consuming them very light and energized. You will start a real healthy lifestyle. Click here to visit our shop and order our cookbook.

Why could the way we dress help us improve our mental health?

I am personally very into fashion and wearing things that are not mainstream; I like to wear unique items and send messages through my clothes or t-shirts.

What I wear should be simple but trendy and unique. That’s why I started my fashion brand. A mental coach with a fashion brand?

Yes, let me explain the relationship between fashion and mental health. Click here to have a look at our shop.

We all are taking care of ourselves and practicing self-love differently. So self-love is not the same for each one of us, but we all agree that this is the only way that makes us have a healthy life and balanced mental state.

Self-love is the essential part that will help us have a balanced mental state. Loving yourself is not about having fears to do things to protect yourself or being afraid of what could happen, but it’s about having the courage to do something and being out of your comfort zone sometimes.

Self-love is mainly about how you appreciate yourself in the right way. Support your growth, not only in your career but in every segment of your life.

Self-love is not putting others 1st. It’s about putting yourself and your well-being 1st. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

We all have a dedicated amount of energy that we are always recharging and living from, and dealing with negativity or emotionally-draining relationships can deplete it.

When you keep this in mind, you will understand how important it is to do things that make you happy and recharge your energy.

It is also important to spread positive vibes, which means speaking about positive things and also making other people aware of how important mental health is.

These positive vibes you are spreading will empower you and will make you stronger and stronger every day, not only because of the message, it’s because of the positivity which you are reflecting from what you are wearing to others.

A lot of teachers and coaches decided to wear our t-shirts and spread more positivity around. Click here to have a look at our shop.

We will always have new designs and new messages to the world every week, ready to be sent to you wherever you are all over the world.

Our cut is very modern and trendy, and we are following the best trending fashion lines worldwide, so enjoy having great comfortable clothes and also send positive vibes only to the people around you.

Enjoy it.

Finding out your core values

Finding out your core values

To have a life balance, you should first know your core values. This is the first message I give in my coaching sessions about life balance. I am always happy to help my clients find their core values.

What are core values?

Values, simply explain as the foundation of your life. They serve as your compass for deciding the most important things in life.

Examples of values:

  • Loyalty
  • Spirituality
  • Humility
  • Compassion
  • Honesty
  • Kindness
  • Integrity
  • Selflessness

Many of us never had the chance to reflect on our core values. We need to understand that values ​​are essential to our day-to-day living.

  1. Personal values ​​set up your priorities in life. When you know your priorities, you will properly manage your life and what is really important for you – profession, family, love, or money.

  2. Personal values ​​help you attract friends with the same interests as you. When you identify your values, you join a group that shares the same values.

  3. Personal values ​​define your relationship values ​​too – How your relationship should be with others, especially in romantic relationships.

  4. Personal values ​​help others understand you and avoid misunderstandings with you. They will know exactly what to speak about and whatnot.

  5. Personal values ​​will help you find the city you will live in and how you will get to that place. 

  6. Personal values ​​will guide you in dealing with other people, especially those who have different values ​​than you.

  7. Personal values ​​help you know your vision and where you want to go – your goals and your limitations.

Finding your personal values

Did you ever think about what is really important for you in life, which parts of life are your priorities?

Get some papers and a pen and start with:

Step 1: Ask yourself what do you consider most important in your life. To help you answer this, try closing your eyes and think about how you would like others to think of you and what your life should actually stand for.

Step 2: Think about the things you like and the things which give you energy and power. Ask yourself, what really inspires you?

Step 3: Ask yourself, what do you really want to do in life? What makes you happy?

After noting down your answers to the questions, underline the main words and nouns that resonate with you. Make a list of the words you have identified. This is a great way to have a visual view of your values and have it in front of you.

The next step is to align your values with your goals.

Why should you Ground Yourself regularly

To be grounded gives your energy, a point of steadiness, and you will feel clear, centered, strong and focused.

On the other hand, you may lack focus or be easily distracted, you feel spacey/scattered/anxious and be easily affected by what’s going on around you (especially with other people’s energy or mood).

I have learned the power of grounding techniques and how it can divert your mind to be present and have focus.

Grounding techniques are great tools to break out if you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

Grounding refers to the ability to return to the present moment with sustained attention.

Sometimes we need to break up the negative thoughts and make sure that we quit the circles of ideas which are flying through our minds. We need to keep the past where it is and live at the present. It is also important that we do not overthink about what is to come. The past is gone and the future is yet to come. The past will cause us depression while the future triggers anxiety.

Truthfully, the present can determine our path in the future that is why we need to live in it. Live in the now!

However, the most recent scientific research has explored grounding for inflammation, cardiovascular disease, muscle damage, chronic pain, and mood. The studies found out that grounding affects the living matrix, which is the central connector between living cells. Electrical conductivity exists within the matrix that functions as an immune system defense, similar to antioxidants .

Scientists believe that through grounding, the natural defenses of the body can be restored.

Why grounding?
Despite its lack of evidence, many people have reported improvement for conditions such as:
 
  • Chronic fatigue
  • Chronic pain
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Sleep disorders
  • Cardiovascular disease
How to practice grounding?

Grounding can be performed both outdoors and indoors, depending on the technique you choose to use.

What are types of grounding?

There are many types of grounding. All of them focus on reconnecting yourself to the earth and to the present moment. This can be done through either direct or indirect contact with the earth.

Grounding techniques to try:
1. Inside Grounding

When you’re inside, grounding yourself requires a bit more effort and in most cases, equipment.

  • Use a grounding sheet or socks while you sleep.
  • Use a grounding mat in your home office chair. This equipment has been thought to help ground you throughout the day.

Start with some deep breathing before looking around the room you’re in. Use the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method. This can be done aloud or silently, depending on your situation.

  • Describe 5 things you see in the room
  • Name 4 things you can feel or touch
  • List 3 things you hear
  • Name 2 things you smell
  • Think of 1 thing that you would like to change in that place.

Outside Grounding
Walk barefoot. Have you ever been outside on a warm summer day and felt the urge to run barefoot in the grass? One of the easiest ways to ground yourself to the earth is to walk barefoot. Whether this is on grass, sand, or even mud, allowing your skin to touch the natural ground can provide you with grounding energy.
Lying on the ground: You can increase your skin-to-earth contact by lying on the ground. You can do it in the grass by the park or on the sand at the beach. If you’re going to ground yourself in this way, be sure to take the proper precautions and never lie somewhere you could be injured.

2. Outside Grounding
  • Walk barefoot. Have you ever been outside on a warm summer day and felt the urge to run barefoot in the grass? One of the easiest ways to ground yourself to the earth is to walk barefoot. Whether this is on grass, sand, or even mud, allowing your skin to touch the natural ground can provide you with grounding energy.

  • Lying on the ground: You can increase your skin-to-earth contact by lying on the ground. You can do it in the grass by the park or on the sand at the beach. If you’re going to ground yourself in this way, be sure to take the proper precautions and never lie somewhere you could be injured.

One way to be in sync with nature is through grounding. Grounding can not only benefit in restoring our immune system but also restore sound mind, at least with my experience.

Say goodbye to tranquilizers with only 2 methods

People are overthinking about their past and the consequences that come with it; how it can affect their future and other things that could happen.

Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923) said that you can achieve the greatest effect with just a small amount of effort. That 80% of the result is already achieved with 20% effort. For the remaining 20% success one wastes mostly unnecessary energy. If we lower our own expectations, put aside excessive perfectionism and give our best – as good as it is possible – there is also energy left for ourselves.

No one expects us to do everything perfectly.

Stress comes when we think that we are losing control and we let the external world affect our internal world.

Stress causes a lot of serious diseases like heart problems and blood clots, but also psychological diseases like burn-out or depression.

Life can be overwhelming at times which results in stress. It could be something happening in the office, or the needy children, or a disorganized household, or the lack of leisure activities.

What sounds like normal everyday life is for most primarily one thing – pure stress. But it’s not just packed days, but also the fast pace of our times with the expectation of constant accessibility that are partly responsible for the fact that many people are under a great deal of stress every day. Time and again, studies show that stress-related illnesses have been on the rise in recent years.

We often don’t even realize how stressed we are until it’s almost too late. The more we accumulate in our daily to-dos, the more our internal pressure increases.

Often, we only notice how stressed we really are in the quiet moments. Instead of relaxing, we continue to work and postpone the break. But it is precisely short breaks that are so important. Help to reduce stress immediately with proven and tested psychological methods.

So what to do when everything is just too much? These 2 psychological methods will help you cope with stress.

Method 1: First take a deep breath with the 4-7-11 method.
  1. Leave everything behind. Put down the pen and pause for a moment. With the 4-7-11 method, we get ourselves out of the circles of thoughts.
  2. Breathe deeply into the belly while counting to four. Then exhale for seven seconds.
  3. Repeat the whole thing eleven times. Numerous studies prove the effect of conscious breathing as a relaxation technique. Under stress, we breathe far too shallowly.
  4. Deep breathing, on the other hand, resupplies the body with sufficient oxygen and lowers blood pressure. Counting at the same time creates new focus and interrupts stressful thoughts.
Method 2: Feel your body and breath

Usually we breathe completely unconsciously. Relaxation techniques direct our attention to breathing to ease the way out of stress and tension. Breathing is one of our basic rhythms, a rhythm that we can consciously influence.

Here are relaxation exercises:
  • Sit or stand upright and place both hands on the tips of your lungs. Consciously breathe in and out into this area. Feel how the chest rises and falls.
  • Place your hands on the lower ribs and feel how the ribs expand and close again in your breathing rhythm.
  • Place your hands on the lower abdomen, the fingers below the navel, the thumbs above and feel the breathing movement here.
  • Put the backs of your hands on your back as high as possible and feel the expansion of the breathing space in this area.
  • Put your hands on the kidney area, feel the breathing space here.
  • Put your hands on your sacrum, feeling the small movements that your breath is in this area triggers.
    Put your hands on the lower costal arch again and feel from here all of your breathing

5 Facts About Effective and NonViolent Communication

The pandemic doesn’t want to end. We are getting stressed and the rhythm of our lives have significantly changed – getting louder and quicker by the minute. In the middle of a working day, we sometimes forget to be empathic and forget how to effectively communicate without hurting anyone. We should know how to effectively communicate with our family, friends, and colleagues in a nonviolent way.

An essential part of resiliency is how we communicate and build our network. To communicate efficiently, we need to know that communication is a two-way road and not one. We need to send and receive.

There are rules to follow when we send. Some sensitive issues are unmentioned because of the fear that it might get us in trouble. Marshall Rosenberg inspired me with defined points that will help us have smooth, effective, and non-violent communication.

  1. Stop playing the right game. This is tricky. Being wrong often leads to punishment. Punishing someone by mistakes leads to shame and denies a person the chance for his needs to be met. Describing your situation rather than defending yourself provides better understanding for both the sender and the receiver, making the atmosphere lighter.
  2. Don’t use dialect tackle language. Don’t label people, as to who is who, and what is what. Based on what is right and wrong, judgments label dialects.
  3. Official Language, that means you have to do something because someone told you to do it. You have to acknowledge that everyone has a choice. It’s very stupid of us if we will always force things on people. if you really think that you have to do something, then it is a must, and to be obligated to do something is not good.
  4. The best way to communicate something to someone is through the OFNR way. It’s called the giraffe language; let’s speak giraffe language its 4 steps: OFNR
Observation

No interpretation, you just describe what it was – observation without you – I noticed that you did that and didn’t.

  • Making an observation is better than judgment. You can say, “the last time you gave me a gift was one year ago,” rather than saying “you never got me presents.”
  • Examples of judgment:
    a) “You were saying mean things.”
    b) “You were trying to make me feel guilty.”
    c) “You are lazy.”
    d) “You are too late again.”
  • Examples of observation:
    a) Say, “I don’t like what you’re saying.”
    b) Say, “You are my partner, and we are supposed to support each other more.”
    c) Say: “You order food every day, and you said that we have to hire a cleaner cause I don’t want to clean.”
    d) Say “Our appointment should have been at 8 and it’s already 8:30.”
Feeling :

Then feeling and how you feel.

  • I feel hurt is a description. As if or like, I feel ignored is a description of a thought.
Need:

Need is also very important. What is my need? What is your need?

Sharing my Requests like “How does that sound to you?” or action requests like, “Can we do this and that in our meeting tomorrow?”

For example:

I am so sad that my friend has not answered his phone for 10 days and never called back. So what I did was the next time he called me, I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t sick or didn’t have any emergency.

This is what I told him,

  • Observation – “I have reached out to you many times in the past weeks but you don’t pick up the phone.
  • Feeling – I feel very ignored.
  • Need – It would be great to connect more with you since we have been friends for a long time.
  • Request – Please at least let me know when you’re busy as this is very important for me. You can send me an SMS or call me back when you’re available.
  1. Positive judgments and compliments are not always good.

Regular compliments are not always good, including saying:

  • You are smart
  • You are the best boss
  • You are beautiful

Some people are pressured to keep their image based on the compliments they are given and this can affect the development of their true self-identity.

Instead, say it in a NonViolent Communication (NVC) way.

    1. Be specific about what was exactly done for this, and not just general.
    2. Share the feeling you have about it.
    3. Share your needs and why it’s important for you that he or she is like that.
    4. You can then see how they receive appreciation.

Why is Money not the right way to motivate your employees?

In the past years, I visited around 100 companies and we had talks about life-balance for their employees. I have to admit that companies have different priorities. There are companies that truly care about their employees. There are also some that would rather focus on other things than the workforce.should be focusing on.

As a life-balance expert, I am posing this very important question to reflect on.

Why should a company motivate the employees to have a good life balance rather than money?

For one, a big paycheck is not enough compensation. Why?

Money is like drugs. When you get some, you want more. When you have more, you want a lot more. It is not enough to satisfy one’s needs. If money becomes the motivation in the team, you will run out of it quicker than you acquire them.

I know a consulting company in Vienna that gives fresh graduates 140 thousand euros, annually. It is great money, however, it is evident how they’re unhappy and burned out. They are only working to save money and leave their jobs. They hate working there!

Money can be a great motivation and the job should be well paid, but there are other points which are important. According to the latest research at Gallup, employees appreciate it when their employers take care of their psychological health.

What do employees need?
  1. The employees need someone to understand them. Bottom line: they need a leader to lead them.
  2. They need to develop as individuals, hence, they need to feel safe and integrated.

A company can only give this, if they know the value of humanity, and the value of the Human Resources department.

What should companies do?

TRAINING
  1. Training for leaders. There should be a learning and development plan for the leadership, and from here the talents should be defined. And they should also have a special learning and development plan.

  2. Training for the workforce. All other employees should also have a plan to continue their development. Without making the employees learn and develop the gaps between the leadership, talents and employees will result in psychological problems, like communication problems, conflicts, presenteeism, and team negativity.
HEALTH & WELLNESS

Other than learning and development, the wellness and the health of the employees should also be considered.

Companies should be mindful of their employees’ health, especially on the quality of the food they eat and their day-to-day movement while in the office.

  1. What do they eat when they are stressed? for snacks? What food is available in the company’s pantry?
  2. What sports and recreational programs does the company offer?
  3. Are they mentally ready for future challenges?

Every part of a person’s wellbeing is essential to his productivity and success. If a company takes priority in that, they will surely become a magnet for high-class talents. They will also retain loyal workers that will help to leverage their businesses.

So the equation is:

Happy Employee = (Learning and development plans for leaders, talents and the workforce + a good life balance program for the employees + good payment)

Pretty basic. Let’s talk!

6 stress management techniques Relaxing techniques

There are so many people who are thinking too much, they are all the time thinking about past experiences which they didn’t take a lesson learned out of it, and looking about how this could effect their future, and thinking about all the things which could happen.

Stress comes when we think that we are losing control and we let the external world effect our internal world.

Stress is the 1st step to alot of serious diseases like heart problems, and clots but also psychological diseases like burn-out or depression.

Everyday life is often too stressful.

We often don’t even realize how stressed we are.

Office, children, household, leisure activities: What sounds like normal everyday life is for most primarily one thing – pure stress. But it’s not just packed days, but also the fast pace of our times with the expectation of constant accessibility that are partly responsible for the fact that many people are under a great deal of stress every day. Time and again, studies
show that stress-related illnesses have been on the rise in recent years.

We often don’t even realize how stressed we are. The more we accumulate in our daily to-dos, the more our internal pressure increases. But often we only notice how stressed we really are in the quiet moments. Instead of relaxing, we continue to work and postpone
the break. But it is precisely short breaks that are so important and help to reduce stress, with some immediately applicable, psychological methods it goes even faster.

So what to do when everything is just too much? 

These 3 psychological methods help to cope with stress. Whether in the office or everyday life.
Method 1: First take a deep breath with the 4-7-11 method.

Leave everything behind.

  1. Put down the pen and pause for a moment. With the 4-7-11 method, we get ourselves out of the circles of thoughts.
  2. Breathe deeply into the belly while counting to four. Then exhale for seven seconds. Repeat the whole thing eleven times. Numerous studies prove the effect of conscious breathing as a relaxation technique. Under stress, we breathe far too shallowly.
  3. Deep breathing, on the other hand, resupplies the body with sufficient oxygen and lowers blood pressure. Counting at the same time creates new focus and interrupts stressful thoughts.
Method 2: Set priorities with the 80/20 rule.

Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923) said that you can achieve the greatest effect with just a small amount of effort. That 80% of the result is already achieved with 20% effort. For the remaining 20% success one wastes mostly unnecessary energy. If we lower our own expectations, put aside the excessive perfectionism and give our best – as good as it is possible – there is also energy left for ourselves. No one expects us to do everything perfectly.

Method 3: Feel your body and breath

Usually we breathe completely unconsciously. Relaxation techniques direct our attention to breathing to ease the way out of stress and tension. Breathing is one of our basic rhythms, a rhythm that we can consciously influence.

Exercise:

  • Sit or stand upright and place both hands on the tips of your lungs. Consciously breathe in and out into this area. Feel how the chest rises and
    falls.
  • Place your hands on the lower ribs and feel how the ribs expand and close again in your breathing rhythm.
  • Place your hands on the lower abdomen, the fingers below the navel, the thumbs above and feel the breathing movement here.
  • Put the backs of your hands on your back as high as possible and feel the expansion of the breathing space in this area.
  • Put your hands on the kidney area, feel the breathing space here.
  • Put your hands on your sacrum, feeling the small movements that your breath is in this area triggers.
  • Put your hands on the lower costal arch again and feel from here all of your breathing.

How to empower yourself to forget someone who hurt you?

What is self-empowerment?

Did you ever feel that you are really helpless? That you really don’t feel like standing up anymore? That you really can’t have a relationship again after you got hurt and separated from your significant other?

No one is exempted from this feeling. No matter our age, we experience love and all its pitfalls. After being hurt, how do we move on after the one you loved has left you?

Have you tried self empowerment?

Self-empowerment is being on top of things. It is being in control of your life and using your power to overcome any emotional, physical, or psychological challenges you are facing.

Let us talk about this first.

What is the difference between deciding and choosing? 

Deciding takes different options, and when you finally decide on one option, the others no longer exist.

On the other hand, choosing keeps your options open even after arriving with one. You understand that the possibilities are existent and can be explored later on.

Now that decision and choice have been defined, let’s further understand self-empowerment.

Self-empowerment is choosing what we have in our life at present, programming our minds that our present life is actually the outcome of our choices.

For example:

Your significant other left you but wanted to stay friends. You feel hurt, and you can’t stop your tears from falling. You know there is someone else.

What will you do? How can you empower yourself and move on?

Firstly, write a list of things that disturbed you about him/her. 

For example:

  1. He/she doesn’t give you polite answers. 
  2. He/she was too flirty with other people.
  3. You didn’t feel like he/she was 100% loyal.

And the list goes on.

And then, empower yourself to make better choices by using the “I have chosen” affirmations.

Now will write the following:

  1. I HAVE CHOSEN not to be with someone who is impolite and disrespectful.
  2. I HAVE CHOSEN not to be with someone who is too flirty with other people.
  3. I HAVE CHOSEN not to be with someone who is not 100% loyal.

Read the list 5 times or as many times as you can. Read it every morning for a week or so, and every time you think about the person who hurt you.

It will not take longer to move on when we focus on making a choice. We need to fight against the idea of “making” and start acknowledging that we have the power to make that choice.

Knowing the reason behind our choices makes us empowered. When we are empowered, we come to a place of choosing.

Be in charge of your life by being empowered.

The Psychological Secret behind El-Ahly Club Success

Did you ever wonder why there are clubs that are consistently winning?

Is it about the big sponsors and budgets? Is it about the players? The management?

For example, why is Bayern Munich in Germany, Al Ahly in Egypt, or Real Madrid in Spain winning most of the time?

Today I will share with you the psychological secret behind the success of Al Ahly in Egypt and what is the scientific secret behind the spirit of the red shirt (in Arabic : ROH ELFANELA ELHAMRA)

Yes, indeed! (ROH ELFANELA ELHAMRA) has a scientific and psychological explanation.

Al Ahly in Egypt is the most successful club in the world of football. Al Ahly has a record of 42 national league titles, 37 national cup titles, and 11 national super cup titles, making them the most decorated club in Egypt. The club has never been relegated to the Egyptian Second Division. Al Ahly is considered the most successful team in Africa and is one of the continent’s giants.

In international competitions, the club has won a record 10 CAF Champions League titles, a CAF Confederation Cup, a record eight CAF Super Cups, a record four African Cup Winners’ Cups, an Afro-Asian Club Championship, an Arab Club Champions Cup, an Arab Cup Winners’ Cup, a record two Arab Super Cups, and has won three bronze medals in the FIFA Club World Cup. With 24 continental titles, Al Ahly is the most successful football club in African history and was voted by CAF as the African club of the 20th century. The club’s international trophy haul is the second largest in world football, behind Real Madrid.

And now to the story behind the success of Al Ahly:

Al Ahly is called the fourth pyramid in Egypt because of their trophies, and that’s not just because of the perfect leadership, vision, great players and system. I went inside the club – the players’ dressing rooms, players fitness rooms, and facilities. My dad is one of the biggest fans of Al Ahly, and he has passed that over to me. I have many friends who played in Al Ahly and are now big leaders there. I still watch all the Al Ahly matches although I don’t live in Egypt anymore.

But why are we mentally and psychologically so attached to it?

I always wanted to know the secret of the success of this club. I feel like it’s not only about the system or planning; it’s not only about the respect and the great spirit inside and around it. I know I had to understand why.

What is behind Al Ahly Club’s success?

After digging, reading, and researching, I have discovered the answer.

It is a self-fulfilling prophecy

Let me explain first some expressions and give you some facts from international studies to make you understand that expression:

  • A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that causes itself to become true. That means that when someone believes in something and that it will happen, and we visualize it, it will undoubtedly happen as planned if it is realistic.
  • Not only that, but when a person expects a person to behave in a certain way, most probably this will happen.
  • There are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies: Self-imposed prophecies: when a person’s expectations influence their actions. And the other-imposed prophecies occur when others’ expectations influence your behavior, especially those you value.
  • The Pygmalion effect is a type of other-imposed self-fulfilling prophecy that states the way you treat someone directly impacts how that person acts. If another person thinks something will happen, they may consciously or unconsciously make it happen through their actions or inaction. There is a study that teachers and coaches treat their students or players like they are the best and put high expectations on them to perform better.

And now back to Al Ahly:

There is an idea in each player’s mind in Al Ahly from young to old: “we are the best, we are the heroes, we are the masters of football in Africa, and we will win every championship we enter.”

Al Ahly leadership is giving the players and the trainers and staff all they need to achieve this. But still, they are also working with all circumstances and make sure to bring positive wording for the team towards the self-fulfilling prophecy in training, media, occasions, and conferences.

The same affirmations that Al Ahly players know are that the fans believe in them and say it in their songs to the team in the stadium. Every fan of Al Ahly believes that the team will win. Every reporter in the stadium and around it thinks the same. But you know what? Also, the team playing against Al Ahly knows that Al Ahly will win in the end.

You wanna know how that reflects on Al Ahly?

Al Ahly scored in this period in the last minute and after the official time of the matches 103 local goals, both in the League (93) and Egypt Cup (8 goals) and the Egyptian Super (two goals).

On the African level, Al-Ahly scored 23 different goals in this period in the African Champions League (18), the Confederation (3), and the African Super (2). In comparison, 3 goals came at the level of the Arab Championship.

Al Ahly has a great history, values, understanding, and system. Their leadership exhibits an excellent knowledge of how the people’s minds are functioning and how circumstances can work for their success.

This is why I believe Al Ahly will always stay up in the skies and have one success after the other.

I learned a lot in my life from Al Ahly, but the most important thing that we all should learn is using the self fulfilling prophecy in the right way:
  1. Believe in yourself and trust the process and be patient.
  2. Speak positively about yourself. Say it out loud and tell everyone that you are the best.
  3. Don’t get into any losing battle.
  4. It’s never too late to get your wins. You win or you learn.
  5. Be optimistic.
  6. Stop being a victim & let everyone in the system focus on one target and know the main values and goals.
  7. Live in the present. Focus on your current game.
  8. Move on from your past and put your trophies behind. Think about getting your next one.
  9. Continue to work on developing yourself everyday.
  10. Your Values are shaping your image, always be loyal to them.